Live-Blogging the 2011 VMAs

It's been way too long since I last did this. Giving it the ol' college try. GO!

Lady Gaga: Go girl (er, Jo! Although "Jo" is a female spelling) I loved this. Compared to last year's 50 costume changes, this is easy. Also must be her audition for a movie we will find out about in a few months.

Kevin Hart: Ah, comedians that are breaking. Too much on the fly. The jokes are funny on the page, but not out of his voice. YSL belt is all that I'm paying attention to.

Waiting for Irene comments.

9:12: Nicki Minaj & Jonah Hill: So he's still gonna rock the nerdy look, eh? And pop stars today just have to be weird. Chains, blow up multicolored pastel stuff things she's carrying.

Best Pop Video: "Last Friday Night (TGIF)", Adele "Rolling in the Deep" (not a good video, it's just because it's the song of the year), "Grenade," "Til the World Ends," Pitbull --Katy Perry should win, no contest. Funny video, storyline, humor, etc. No contest.

Britney -- They just want to award her because she's Britney and they want to give this "princess" her dues, cause they didn't years ago.

9:22 Long stage...leading up to Jay-Z and Kanye. Odd no introduction, that it was just squeezed it. Good stuff though.

Miley -- you were born when Nirvana was big, so...not gonna deny that you grew up listening to them...but yeah.

Best Rock Video: Black Keys, Foo Fighters "Walk," Foster the People --too new, didn't this come out a few weeks ago? Mumford & Sons "The Cave" This played on MTV? Cage the Elephant. Huh. Thought I knew them from somewhere. Foo Fighters, because it's the only band most people know from the list. It's a shame that both Chicago and New York don't have rock stations anymore. Very appropriate speech, Dave Grohl. Rock will always find a way.

9:33 Interstitials: Rebecca Black sure knows how to milk this.

All the Best New Artists this year suck.

9:34 I like this stage.
9:35 "Beasties" aka Will Ferrell, Jack Black and Seth Rogen, followed by Odd Future, which is quite large. Very predictable shit, if you ask me.

Best Hip-Hop Video: Lil Wayne "6'7'", "All of the Lights," (my song), Lupe Fiasco, Nicki Minaj, "Super Bass," Chris Brown "Look at Me Now."

I'm partial to "All of the Lights", Lupe, Nicki -- I thought he said "Look at Me Now," but Nicki gets up. Definitely oddest shoes ever. Flats with knee socks! Like a 5 year-old. I give her props. She has an ice cream necklace.

Best Collaboration, with two people I don't recognize becaue I'm old. Pitbull, Chris Brown, Kanye, Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj...I think Pitbull/Chris Brown are the real collaborations...Kanye is the architect of "All of the Lights," so no, and Nicki Minaj's song just has Drake guesting, not a real collabo.

Katy Perry-- haha, oh, poor Kanye. I really like Katy's outfit of blue and pink pastels, but I'm sure that's an unpopular opinion.

9:46 Rick Ross! Dumb "banter". Shut up Paul Rudd, get to...Pitbull. Ugh. I respect Pitbull (I want to read how he turned his life from negative to positive...) hey look at the chick in the center. I'll take that outfit, black lace bodysuit. Oh, she actually sings, so I should know her name. Or rather, her name should be known. Have to check if it's actually on the official song credits.

It's fitting that Pitbull is from Miami, because that's one of the few places that he can get away with that outfit. Ne-Yo looks like Ne-Yo.

MTV has said that Adele has been heard all year, but not seen, so they're marketing her performance that way. Totally accurate?

I am also surprised that certain people get MTV play, like Adele. Yes, she's young, but she's bluesy, she doesn't dance, she's not showy, or loud, or "cute", and she's very appealing to older crowds. Like Mumford & Sons, which gets plays on indie/adult alternative/college radio. How else to classify WFUV?

"I Just Want My Pants Back" is a name of a show?

Dove DJ Who? The older I get, the less I know.

The "intern" in these interstituals looks familiar. The rappers (which make up four-fifths of this category) have the edge.

9:57 Katy Perry still looks good.

9:58: Adele: She always looks the same. And she likes her nails long. I wonder what it's like to perform a very personal song constantly, that the story of your life -- a story of your life -- becomes so public in a way it's no longer yours. I thought, watching an interview with Adele a few weeks ago, how difficult it is to sing and talk about such a personal, painful experience, in this case a breakup. I couldn't do it.

10:06: there are commercials for Plan B???

10:09: Ugh, Beavis and Butthead. No.

Jessie J-- You know how some girls have it and others don't. She doesn't. Just don't know why.

10:10: Kim Kardashian does have a great body. With that sweet baby voice all the boys love.

Best Male Video -- Cee-Lo, Kanye "All of the Lights," Bruno Mars, "Love the Way You Lie" (not technically a male video), Justin Beiber. Give it to Cee-Lo! Come on, the beeb. I always think "Pandering to the tween constituency. We need them to watch and tweet." Also, only Justin Beiber can rock those glasses. I wore glasses like that and no, no cool for me.

Vitoria Justice? Must be one of those girls in one of those MTV shows.

10:12 Chris Breezy yep. How much is he sweating under there? Guys, I hope y'all know he's not singing...Nirvana...? We all must give props to this, still? House music...he's lipsynching, but because we now he's not supposed to sing, it's ok.

Jay-Z and a lot of others are so not feeling this. But Kanye is giving props.

Chris Brown is wearing a mike to cover his bases. I appreciate the flying. That's got to be a cool experience. How can I get on that?

They did bill it as a dance-off, right...so not technically incorrect...

"No Scrubs?" Odd choice. How about an Aaliyah tribute?

I like the interactive map of Tweets from inside.

Are the Joisey Shore guidos and guidettes gonna hit the stage? We saw Ronnie and Sammi (still together) sittin' pretty.

10:22: Britney Tribute. Ohh, Gaga is Jo again! Coolness. True on the industry part. I don't consider Britney fearless, though -- that would go to Madonna, even Lady G herself.
Video vangaaard award. Love the accent.

Britney looks so uncomfortable with "Jo." I feel for her; I'd have the same expression on my face. But this reading -- ugh.

10:29 Beyonce I have never seen Beyonce wear pants. She looks good. Personally, I would have preferred Beyonce to sing own of her own songs. Oh! Nice! I nearly missed it! Not unexpected, though.

Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner for Best New Artist. Forgettable or Fantastic? Rappers + Foster the People. Wiz Khalifa, Kreashawyn, Tyler the Creator, Big Sean. I've only read about Tyler the Creator/Odd Future, never actually heard them...There's a guy drinking water behind him.

Jared Leto being too cool for school and Zoe Saldana. Triangles on his arms?

Young the Giant: I've NEVER heard before a commercial two days before.

10:47 "Somewhat surprising" performance of Jay-Z and Kanye.

10:52: Cloris Leachman? As my father would say, where did they dig her up from? Oh, old women saying slutty things if FUNNY! Haha! Not. But the Jersey Shore girls are all natural.

Best Female Video: Adele, "Firework," Run the World" (too new?) Nicki Minaj "SuperBass," "Born this Way" -- all decent. Lady Gaga. Katy Perry is wearing a cheesehead.

Cloris Leachman is losing it.

I'm enjoying Lady Gaga as Jo. Lovin' the accent. Wow, Deena's got enough makeup on for all of 'em.

On "Video With a Message" -- I see why they put it in place this year; they certainly had enough applicants. A regular feature? No on air? Lame. However, I agree with Gaga; a lot of songs *do* have messages, even if they're not expected. Weezy's telling us how to love. Adele is saying that heartbreak is hell. I can come up with a zillion of these (and better examples when I'm not overheating because of my laptop).

11:02: Russell Brand. He hosted in ...2009. Amy Winehouse. His tribute is decent. I'm not quick enough to type the lines I like. More messaging -- alcoholism. He is the right person to say that, though, and I think that it's important to bring that up, for people to remember that these are real issues and they aren't fun. I would have liked Adele to speak, as she knew her, too.

11:09: Bruno Mars is so '50s cute.

They have not mentioned Irene once. And where's my boy Drake?

11:13: No, I'm fine without seeing The Hunger Games. Really.

11:18 I saw Katie Holmes in the audience and wondered what she was doing there. Why is she introducing Video of the Year? Promote a movie that is not mentioned nor advertised?

Video of the Year: Adele, Tyler the Creator (he won't win, not well known) Katy Perry "Firework," Beasties (no, not a big hit), Why was "Grenade" chosen for Bruno Mars? Adele will win, either her or Katy. Katy.

Cheesehead!

She'll give good speech. "Firework" is the song of my last year, that's for sure.

My boy Drake!

Lil Wayne ends the show. With his ballad. He'll probably segue into a rap.

I do like this song, even though I think of it as all auto-tune and how rappers shouldn't sing. (See Eminem). Ohhh, I was right. From "How to Love" to ohh, they're just pumping the music through the stereo and letting him run around and run his fingers over a guitar.

11:29 So not paying attention to this MTV show clip with a fake Andy Samberg, generic pretty brunette, making out, Star Wars and smoking references. Another male fantasy. Oh. The show's over. Huh.

And SCENE!

Grammys!

My Grammy notes, a week later:

The Grammys weren’t too bad this year, if you don’t mind Taylor Swift. The night scored tops in the ratings, and that was due to the volume of performances. This is fine, but it was really strange to have so few awards televised, especially in hearing all the references to pre-televised wins.

• In retrospect, had to know something was up when Song of the Year was awarded first, not something like “Female Pop Vocal of the Year”.
• More awards. It’s an awards show, please remember that.
• 3D was the worst idea ever, and even Rihanna and Beyoncé looked stupid dancing in their glasses.
• Michael Jackson’s poor children.
• The bleeping—or rather, the protracted silence of the censors—just made everyone think that something was wrong with the TV.
• Timing. Make sure those likely to win an award aren’t held up by costume changes or preparations for performance, and can actually accept the award.
• They need to stop dressing Taylor Swift in white. It’s ruining her image by overemphasizing it.
• While most of the chatter circulated on Taylor Swift failing to reach the high notes in “Rihannon”, it was odd not to note how strange it was to see Stevie Nicks singing “You Belong With Me”, because the song is so juvenile. It also proves that the song will not age well once T. Swift grows out of this demographic. I really like the arrangement on “You Belong With Me”, though.
• Sasha Fierce was very much out in full force. Surprisingly, Beyoncé did a medly of “If I Were a Boy” and the thematically fitting “You Oughta Know”, which worked perfectly with the tough soldier shtick she was working. The motif was very Rihanna, and reminded me very much of a recent podcast from the Slate Culture Gabfest discussing the decade in music. Beyoncé and Rihanna have both led the way in projecting female-driven and pop music into symbols of strength. They are fighters, kicking ass and taking names in their spike heels.

I’ve criticized Beyoncé before for being such a man-hater in her songs, and this combination only furthered my bafflement. Why is Beyoncé so angry? This is a question I’d wish 60 Minutes addressed in their pre-Grammy interview, instead of the stupid and softball questions about her relationship with her rapper-mogul husband and her history—all very well-known to her fans. Even for a general audience the interview was a letdown. Yes, Beyoncé likes to speak for the ladies, and she’s become phenomenally successful doing so, but in context, her anger is unjustified and contrary to the rest of her mild, measured persona. Maybe it’s just that performing righteously angry material like “You Oughta Know” is great fun and a tension release, and that Sasha Fierce is very much her alter ego; she’s speaking out for all the wrongs she’s seen in others. Sure, not performing smashes like “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” and “Halo” were puzzling, but “If I Were a Boy” showed off her vocal skills more, and she probably has a soft spot for that song. When it was released, she gave lots of interviews focused on the song and video, proudly showing it off, downplaying “Single Ladies”, which was released at the same time.

And of course, Lady Gaga and Elton John, which just needs to be seen again (sorry, no embed capabilities).

P.S. New York Magazine’s The Cut blog has a great roundup of Lady G’s costumes, seams and all.

The Grammys Are Going to Be Good This Year!

The Grammys are music’s highest honor, and they usually don’t mirror the pop charts. They have their faves—U2 comes to mind—and they love to honor older-skewing acts. But this year, the Grammys are either bowing to popular taste or are trying to reflect it: Top nominees echo the top artists of the year. Lady Gaga, the Black Eyed Peas, unstoppable Beyoncé and the country’s biggest selling artist in terms of albums for the past two years, Taylor Swift, each received multiple nominations.

MTV News reports that this has been a trend for the Grammys the past few years, wanting to appeal to a younger audience, but the 2010 nominees make the Dave Matthews Band look old. Ink was spilled on the fact that Lady Gaga would not be eligible for Best New Artist, because she had been nominated last year for “Just Dance” in the apparently overlooked category of Best Dance Recording, up against “Disturbia” (!) and Madonna, and losing to Daft Punk’s “Harder Better Faster Stronger”. (The Recording Academy noted that at the time of the nominations, there was no album to anchor “Just Dance.”) Although Keri Hilson is a Best New Artist nominee, she has written songs for other artists like Britney Spears and Ne-Yo, and was featured prominently in Timbaland’s massive 2007 hit “The Way You Are”…so she’s not really that new. But, it looks like she’s never been nominated before, either for her songwriting skills or for her collaborations, so she’s considered “new”.

Looking at the list, there are plenty of lesser-known songs that occupy most of the nominations; there are many categories where one superstar song, like Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”, sticks out because of sheer omnipresence. Hopefully this will mean that B will perform come January 31, along with many of those other top-tier acts. With a list this strong, you can't not have them.

The Jay Leno Show(down)

Over the past few years, I have become a huge Jay Leno fan. I have a thing for corny jokes; I love his everyman shtick, the way he has a little bit of everything. He always keeps up with what’s going on, and you know he’s a guy who reads the papers. He’s always accused of being Middle American, middle-of-the-road, old fashioned, even. So what. Technically, I’m not supposed to like him, since I’m young, hip (said ironically), and from the coast. I should like David Letterman, if I wasn’t off doing something way cooler. But I have no use for Dave. He doesn’t make sense to me; he’s not funny in the least.

To counteract Leno’s Time cover (written by their wonderful arts/culture reporter, James Poniewozik), New York magazine did their cover on Letterman, as if to stick their tongue out and go, “So what Leno’s getting all this publicity. Letterman’s SO obviously better. And we would know, cause we’re New Yorkers and we have taste, not like you schlubs. You’re the guys who’re making the CSIs and Desperate Housewives big hits!” Well, suck it. I’ve sheepishly admitted my love for Leno before, apologetic, but he does have the ratings to prove his popularity. And it’s deserved—his work ethic is as legendary as his car collection.

NBC has been running more promotions for his show than the rest of their fall season combined, ensuring that everyone will watch him at first and then hopefully catch on that NBC has other shows (starting soon!) that air before him. Ratings will be big, doubtlessly helped by Kanye’s scene at the VMAs Sunday. It was nearly universally derided as a douchbaggy thing to do, and this somehow has escalated into something major, so now cultural critics are trying to ascertain why there is so much outrage at what is nothing more than a rude, insensitive act. Mike Hale of the Times does the best job:

The extended reaction to Mr. West’s deed certainly had something to do with a continuing national conversation about rudeness, whether to presidents, line judges or irritatingly successful country singers. But it was really just the latest manifestation of our addiction to artificial drama, which has grown stronger as the stuff has become more plentiful and cheap, and the shamelessness with which the media now picks at the scabs of any sort of conflict in order to boost ratings.

Of course, the first episode is nothing but the first episode—and while NBC has committed to airing Jay at 10 for two years, it remains to be seen how well he will fare, if indeed people get tired of him. Expectations are both low and high, in that Leno is supposed to save television yet it doesn’t matter how low his ratings actually are, an interesting conundrum to be in.

So how was the first show? Pretty good. It’s Jay, and really, it didn’t change. They're the typical Jay jokes, lighthearted, corny, a little political, a little not, filled with dumb people and contradictions, GE and NBC getting the raw end, like they always do. Two of his jokes, though, were stolen, a blight on this hardworking, fastidious comic: Kanye and Taylor Swift having a “root beer” with the president was suggested earlier in an article that popped in Google News, and Dick Cheney’s alma mater The University of Wyoming is naming their international studies center after him, of course crying out for a joke—one made last week by Conan O’Brien. Whoops.

I loved the set, the opening credits, the montage. The credits were fresh, but reassuring, not dull like most talk show openers, and this one offered interesting possibilities upon rewatching. I am even more enamored of NBC’s ads for the new season: crisp, clean, modern, understated, and simple, showcasing the quality and implicit the pedigree of the network.

Jay opens with his monologue; there’s a long, taped skit that may or may not be funny, depending on your tastes and how tired you are at the moment, and then comes Jerry. Funny jokes, the biggest surprise is that Jerry’s in a tux.

There was speculation Sunday evening and Monday morning as to whether Kanye would honor his commitment to the show, and while it was great that he did come on, what did his “apology” replace? And whose idea was it? I doubt it was Jay’s. Kanye never did answer the question of why he did it. He mentioned that he screwed up, didn’t think that Taylor would just leave. Of course the whole thing was blown out of proportion, but what else happened?

Kanye didn’t look at the audience or Jay, and he rambled on. Kanye looked like he was going to cry…mumbling, embarrassed, a kid who was doing something he had to do but didn’t want to, and Jay’s question, though asked sensitively, merely resulted in protracted awkwardness and too much dead air. People aren’t going to buy Kanye’s supposed “apology”, it was the usual celebrity narcissistic rubbish, of taking responsibility and the time to assess their role in the world. But he does have a point with regard to award shows, in that he still retains the naïve belief that they mean something, they reward the best. The video for “You Belong With Me” isn’t bad; it’s cute and fits the song well. It’s not inventive or sexy or as fun as “Single Ladies”, but again, “Single Ladies” was up for Video of the Year, a much bigger award, and the VMAs are as much as about popularity as they are for name recognition. Kanye’s had some great videos and songs, too, and he’s been incredibly fortunate that he’s as successful and genre-changing as he is, and that he’s recognized for it, too, and that despite his massive ego, it hasn’t totally overshadowed his work, though again his taste for toolishness has threatened to do so once again.

Interesting choice to run with headlines at the end, especially after the high energy of Rihanna, Kanye, and Jay-Z. It was Rihanna’s first public appearance since her altercation with Chris Brown, and, as befitting the song, she was tough, with just a stripe of blond underneath her cap to differentiate herself. Great performance, though Kanye was impotent until his verse three-quarters into the song, where he was his usual self. Rihanna looked happy. As much as I enjoy “Headlines” (and he opened with his trademark line, “It’s Monday—Time for Headlines!”), it was a letdown after such a performance. I’m not ready to go to bed yet!

There are some people who say that’s the problem, that Jay’s corny humor is meant to be dozed off too, a relaxing nightcap. Maybe. But there are people who go to bed at 11.

Females Rule the Night: VMAs Wrap-Up

I didn't watch the entire show, because I wanted to catch Mad Men, and it turned out to be a good episode. Don sorta got hit on again, by his daughter's teacher, but we were treated to plot and character advancement, plus plenty of 60s life.

But the VMAs:

Preshow: WHY ARE YOU HERE??

Fefe Dobson…you had a minor “hit” in 2002, a song that I don't remember at all. You were wearing black, red, maybe a checkered shirt? White background? Rant/sing? Giant question mark.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Seriously, you passed your sell-by date in 2001. Go away.

TOO MUCH TWILIGHT OMG.

Twitter new VJs blondness teenagers and technology whoa.

Opening: Probably the first time that there wasn't a performance. Madonna gave a tribute to Michael Jackson, just as I was writing about her in my last post. I watched it, cause it was Madonna, though I had planned to skip any MJ moments.

Katy Perry: With Joe Perry. Meh. White pants, sparkles.

Russell Brand: Useless.

Taylor Swift: The subway gig was cute, and impressive in that as far as I know has never been done before. I enjoyed her freewheelin' yet professional performance.

The Kanye Showdown: Low. Beyoncé was nominated for "Video of the Year", a much bigger and enduring award than "Best Female Video", and his "excuse me" to Taylor was rude. Beyoncé and Taylor were both very embarrassed.

Lady Gaga: Anyone who doubted Lady Gaga’s talent was proved wrong when she performed a deranged version of "Paparazzi", which ended with her hanging in the air, eyes dead, blood splattered over her funky white outfit, reminiscent of Madonna’s "Like a Virgin" wedding dress, without the dress. Her voice was strong, theatrical in its wobblyness, and her typical piano playing mesmerized the audience; they were all wondering where this would lead. Gaga brought out the other things she is known for (going pantless, crazy hair), even the wheelchair and the crutches. She’s the only artist that makes that work, along with showing the lines of her stockings below her underwear.

Pink: Very fitting (you need to listen to Sober). She knows how to do it.

Beyoncé: Classy, gracious, "Single Ladies" still kicks ass. Fantastic choreography, deserves to win all-around.

Green Day: They feel too old for this crowd.

Winners: The category that stands out the most is “Video That Should Have Won a Moonman”, all videos around 20 years old, most that the average high schooler doesn’t know. Nice concept, but the nominees are retarded.

Winners should go to videos that have had an impact. Eminem did not with "We Made You", though most of the others went to the big hits--"Womanizer" (I knew Britney wouldn't show, she's done with this crowd), "Live Your Life", and of course, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)".

Not surprising to see Gaga win "Best New Artist". She clearly had the most influence in 2009, and she usually does give you a reason to watch (though "Poker Face" is not her best video). Not sure what she's doing by covering up her neck and face, besides her glamour pop thing, making a statement, the whole "Paparrazi" shtick. Whatever. Gaga is gaga. Females rule the night.

Quick Hits

Maybe I should make this recurring…there are always songs I want to comment on:

Michael Jackson: I am not a fan. Never was. Weirdo, creep, you name it—get him away from me. I couldn’t understand the outpouring of affection, especially as to me, he had no relevance to my generation; I felt we were all pretty young, if alive at all, when he was big. I liked “Billie Jean” (but not the video); that was basically it. But, the week he died, I caught some of the videos, and I sat through them obligatorily. I knew I was the only one in the world who hated "Thriller" (yes, the video)…long, long, lots of boring dancing. I came away unchanged. Michael Jackson preferred dark alleys, menacing looks, bullies and confrontation in his videos, and they all were the same to me. He needed to move on, badly.

As superstars go, I am very clearly in Madonna’s camp: She has one hell of an exciting, cool life, she’s rich, not in debt, is not crazy or weird, has in fact a reputation for being a hard-ass, usually credited to her monstrous success, and has a career that is still intact. But in all the eulogies for Michael Jackson’s camp, they keep saying that he was the last superstar left, an argument that is complete bunk. Madonna is his direct competitor, and she most definitely outlasted him in pretty much every measurable way.

I will concede one thing, though. Nobody dances like Michael Jackson anymore. He’s the only one who can get away with high-water pants and white socks, and he’s the only one who glides (though he has to ruin it by jerking and touching his crotch).

3Oh!3: Dumb band name, but "Don't Trust Me" is a fun song (and fun video). I am always a fan of people who dress up and make it fun. I am very surprised that my friend at Art at the Auction didn’t rip the Colorado boys apart for their very sexist “Shush girl, shut your lips/Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips.” Horrible, but hilarious.

Flo Rida, “Right Round”: The universal reaction: OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS SONG!!! Horror. Complete horror, but you listen. This is AWFUL. And SO FILTHY! How is this on the air?!?!? The next time: Oh, it’s that abominable remix. A travesty! Who in the world allowed Flo Rida to do this? Shock. The third time: Ugh, I’m not going to…hmm, it’s catchy. And then: OH MY GOD THIS IS GENIUS. Flo Rida is a GENIUS! Amazing! I love this song!!

Beyoncé, "Halo": Considering I’ve been pretty hard here on Beyoncé, I have to admit that she did take my advice and release “Halo”, a song that is male-positive, as she soaringly sings the praises of her baby. The video features lots of nuzzling by a ballerina Beyoncé and her light-eyed boy, but no, absolutely no, kissing…

…unlike Kelly Clarkson, who does in fact hook up despite the title of her second single off of All I Ever Wanted. I dislike “I Do Not Hook Up” because it’s one of those songs that girls use as an example; it’ll come on and several of them will find a girl who, in their mind, is the definition of the song and they will point at her, showing the rest of the world, that indeed, she does not hook up. This girl is usually single, and the songs are also usually about single women or opinionated women or independent women or women that need an declarative adjective before being announced. See “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” or other Beyoncé/Destiny’s Child songs.

Shinedown: I briefly considered “Second Chance” to be in the running for top song of the year, one of the big hits of the summer, but it peaked already. The video, despite being a basic story, continues to intrigue: I still love the casting of the parents and the daughter, but the young blonde boy? And, we will assume he is her much younger brother, because if he is her son (very possible in music video land), then well, escaping your seafaring Maine town is very irresponsible, and that is not the message of the song! The other central question: Who decided that the video should revolve around a fishmonger’s daughter?

Projecting

Maybe Beyoncé's man-hating songs are used as a warning to Jay-Z--as in, don't mess with Sasha Fierce, cause I will own you.

Awesome

Two girls on the bus line today were wondering why Beyonce is all anti-man when she's married. At they specifically cited "Single Ladies" as evidence.

More Beyoncé Angst

Emily Gould does a really good job describing "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" in her post on marriage:

Since she’s a married lady — married to Jay-Z, duh! — Beyoncé can’t very well sing lyrics like “man on my hips/got me tighter than my Dereon jeans,” anymore, so she has had to create an alternate persona named Sasha Fierce. Sasha performs the half of B’s new double album that’s not treacly, wife-appropriate ballads, and the best of the resulting tracks, ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’ is not going to start getting played by wedding DJs anytime soon. It’s a feminist anthem! Well, sort of. If you want it to be. It’s a classic post-breakup eff you about being “up in the club” and dancing with another guy to make your ex jealous — “I could care less what you think,” ‘Sasha’ sings, which is always a funny kind of line because, hello, you are making it clear that you’re just acting this way for the dude’s benefit. (cf: “You probably think this song is about you” [MediaMaven note: Carly Simon's "You're So Vain"] or “Thanks to you, now I get what I want.” [Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone"]). And then the chorus: an amazing, jumpropey chant of “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it.” In the video the chorus is accompanied by an amazing hip-twitching dance that’s capped by this move where Beyoncé and her backup dancers raise and revolve their left hands, flashing what ought to be conspicuously ringless fingers — “All the single ladies, put your hands up!” But Beyoncé doesn’t just have her famous 5 million dollar diamond — hey, what happened to ‘Sasha?’ — on hers, she’s also got on a whole metal-plated robot glove that makes ominous and addictive and comic-bookish kriiiing sounds when she twists her wrist.

‘Sasha’ wants to be up in the club, acting up, drink in her cup — but she also, badly, wants someone to put a ring on it, or at least she wants someone to want to.

Emily's onto something. She ends her post in a very Housian way, with "we're all going to die alone anyway"--very cynical and reductive. But I understand her ambivalence, and the onslaught of the current culture, especially if you're single and a woman, is just so damn hard to fight sometimes. I listened to a lot of "Single Ladies" last week (as well as I am Sasha Fierce, since it's available free on MySpace), and while the album was better than I expected, it was still the usual Beyoncé fare. And I felt incredibly guilty and conflicted listening to it. Why? I liked the music, and I actually thought it was good, but it was just that the messages offended me. Do people feel this way when they listen to Eminem or hardcore racist mysogynistic rap? Beyoncé's songs (like so many other pop songs) are reductive. There's nothing wrong with that--music doesn't have to be deep, and I love plenty of music and musicians that aren't. But I just can't figure out why her music bothers me so. One of the reasons I've always loved Beyoncé is because she's a consummate professional--she's just so confident and cool and just so good at what she does. I've never seen her perform, but my brother told me she's one hell of a performer, and her performance with Tina Turner at the Grammys was fantastic, to say the least. I'm tired of her songs being the same two notes--I-love-my-man-so-much-I'll-do-anything-for-him, and My-man-screwed-me-over-I-don't-need-him-anymore. It doesn't fit her life, and if she wants to show audiences a more personal side of her, she's failing (I am Sasha Fierce is not bold and honest). She needs to grow up, look past the simplistic polars of relationships, and stop infusing an entire generation of women with retarded notions of love.

But boy, do I ever wish I could dance like Beyoncé in that video. Hot damn.

And Another Thing, Beyoncé...

As if women don't have enough problems, we should expect a man who will do all these things:

[...] what I deserve

Is a man that makes me then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond

Dear Lord, Beyoncé, a man is going to exalt me to such new heights that I'll go beyond infinity? That orgasm sure must be powerful.

I deserve a man who's going to take me to my destiny. Which means that my destiny can only be achieved by such a great man. So then that great man must arrive, right? The logic of this gives me a headache.

So does this mean that if this unbelievable man with unbelievable charms doesn't fit into this unbelievable package, then "like a ghost, I'll be gone"? I shouldn't accept anything less than infinite magic?

What Beyoncé Should Sing...

...Is "Angel". Natasha Bedingfield's "Angel."

Now this is a song about respecting your man. It's the complete opposite of practically everything Beyoncé sings, even as a member of Destiny's Child. Natasha wants her man to be disrespected so she can rush to his defense and show the world how proud of his she is. She wants women to stand up to prove there are good guys out there. She's tired of the Beyoncés of the world, constantly bashing their men.

"Angel" even fits into the retrograde values that Beyoncé & co. espouses. Although there are elements of the "Cater 2 U" philosophy, Natasha Bedingfield doesn't intend to pamper her guy or bow down to his every whim. She does, however, put herself aside so her man can have the spotlight. That's a bit worrisome. But she'll do whatever he wishes. There are no strings--she just loves the dude.

What struck me the first time about "Angel", though, was that the sentiment of the song--wanting to protect one's lover "from the pain"--is something most commonly heard from males. Men sing about protecting women all the time. Women, not so much. It's the verb that changes the sentiment slightly, since it's men who are the stereotypical protectors and saviors. Men will sing promises of keep their lady "safe from danger", not the other way around.

But she's still a woman. She'll guide him home and provide shelter, as images of hearth and home are traditional to females. Even the title of the song, "Angel", tends to be associated with women, though guardian angels can be either gender.

"Angel" continues the trend of spelling out the title (see Stefani, Gwen; "Hollaback Girl", and Fergie; "Glamorous"). The video has multiple Natashas singing in multiple outfits (like Beyoncé's current video for "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"), but it's done in front of black-and-white drawings in panes, like comics, a style I really like. Also, her green dress reminds me of the one Carrie wore in the Sex and the City finale.

Overall, Natasha Bedingfield is a woman who's had lots of positive messages in her music. She even released a song, "Single", about how great being single is. It wasn't sarcastic; unfortunately, it was dreadful. So dreadful that I won't link to it and I'm embarrassed to mention it. Her songs are positive, and from what I've seen, she's a pretty upbeat and down-to-earth person who seems to have some semblence of what she's singing about. Now that's the kind of women pop music needs more of.