On End-of-the-Year Countdowns

In another sign of I’m getting old, the number one song on Z100’s Top 100 Countdown of 2008 is Chris Brown’s “Forever”, and for the first time, I could not conjure up the song in my head. While I’m familiar with many Chris Brown tracks—“Kiss Kiss”, “With You”, "Run It", “Wall-to-Wall”, his duet with girlfriend Rihanna “Hate that I Love You”, “No Air” with Jordin Sparks—I had no clue about this “Forever”. I was mystified. The number one song according to the Top 40 station in one of the biggest cities in the world and I do not recognize it? What?

So I looked up the song online, and yep, I don’t know the song. Ok, maybe I’ve heard it once or twice (though I see how it became the jingle for Doublemint gum, though because I rarely watch TV now, I don’t know the commercial), but it doesn’t ring familiar at all. Strange…Oh. Wait. I do vaguely recognize the opening chords, but that was a signal for me to skip it. Okay then.

I’m beyond getting mad at countdown crap like this. I realized, wading through the list, that I listen to so many stations and because I purposely skip over songs and artists I don’t like (I think I’ve managed to not hear either of Leona Lewis’s singles in their entirety, a feat I’m proud of), my perceptions of what is popular and what is not is somewhat skewed. I used to try to guess what the number one song of the year would be, trying to nail it earlier and earlier in the year. A number one song has to hit its peak at the right time of the year, in a certain time of July/August, be inescapable, yet not annoying, and not a fad. I also realized that I had to tailor my guesses to the individual outlets—VH1’s top songs were not mutually identical with PLJ’s, even though they overlapped a lot. But I’ve consistently fallen short, with my guesses coming up in the second (or fifth) spots. This year, I considered (frightfully) Leona Lewis’s “Bleeding Love”, since avoiding it became an Olympic sport (alas, number one for VH1), and Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music”, since that music never stopped for several months. Do not underestimate staying power.

I checked out some other stations that did countdowns. The lovely thing about the internet is now I can just read their lists; Z100 thankfully put theirs up before all the airings were done, so you don’t even have to listen to the whole countdown! (Which, as we all know, drags on and on in the 60-80 range.) Obviously Lil Wayne, Rihanna and Chris Brown rule in terms of singles and even cross genres; if the New York metropolitan region had a country station, the same would be said for Taylor Swift, who I think does much better in all genres outside of this region. The ubiquitous (and best sing-along chorus of the year) “Low” actually came out late in 2007, or else it would have undoubtedly been #1.

The problem with countdowns is I have never understood how they figure out what song places where. You can argue relative placement (and I have), but even that strange mix of sales figures and airplay does nothing for me. I remember “Sorry” being pretty damn big, a lot bigger than #98, which is a spot reserved for songs you heard once back in May, or a song that was released December 1^st, but somehow that doesn’t register. I guess I just made sure to crank up that tune whenever it was on VH1. There were many other “huhs?” when skimming through the list--“Hot N Cold” is a bigger hit that “I Kissed a Girl”?—as well as good half-dozen or so songs about which I just had no clue. When I didn’t listen to a station for a week or so, or ignored FM radio for several days on end, I just felt so behind, even if day-to-day, even week-to-week, playlists don’t change that much. But then one day you realize that you haven’t heard Sara Bareilles’ “Love Song” in a while, and that that song has already peaked. And then you’re kind of sad, because you really liked that song.

Breaking Records Isn't What It Used To Be

There has been much brouhaha over the fact that both Mariah Carey and Madonna broke records last week.

Mariah Carey now has 18 #1 singles. Back in the day, before digital media took over the world, it actually took work to get a number one single. I know, I know, it’s hard to get a number one single now—any non-superstar would loudly argue against my point. I understand, I do, but before a number one song had to be out for several weeks, gaining on the chart, becoming a massive hit. A number one song, even for just one week, is a hit; it’s earned that spot. But nowadays songs just appear at number one, and it’s unfair. All Mariah Carey had to do was act like herself (“Mimi”, since that’s her post-“comeback” persona and not the crazy loon who pushed an ice cream cart on TRL), and therein the songs kept rollin’. “Touch My Body” is catchy enough, and it’s certainly not her worst single, but it’s not particularly memorable or great. I disagree with critics who say it’s a ripoff of “Always Be My Baby” (seriously?), although radio stations need to branch out into their Mariah Carey hit catalog and play something other than songs that originated from her Tommy Mottola period. “Touch My Body” is helped by the video, featuring geek man-boy Jack McBrayer of 30 Rock fantasizing how luscious touching Mariah’s body can be, but it hasn’t been out long enough to attain the notoriety that a number one song should carry, especially one that breaks Elvis’ record. Of course, an artist that has so many hit singles obviously has a few less memorable ones than others, but it seemed that there was no suspense regarding whether or not she would actually break the record; it was a foregone conclusion. Results rigged, anyone?

As for Madonna, at least her very deep catalog is accessed somewhat more on radio than Mariah Carey’s. I haven’t even heard all of “4 Minutes to Save the World”, which is quite a feat, yet it took me a few to realize that horrible snippet of Justin Timberlake was Madonna’s new song. Oh, the disappointment. Again, it hit the top ten already? The song’s been out for two weeks, maybe three. Songs should earn their high status, because it proves they are hits. In reality, both “Touch My Body” and “4 Minutes to Save the World” are going to be midlevel and minor (to put it nicely) hits, respectively. By July, you’ll have forgotten them already, and when you hear them at the end-of-the-year countdowns you’ll have a vague if misbegotten memory of the songs coming out last year. Nowadays songs flash out quickly, peaking early and then dying. Those aren’t hits, but they’re always described as one. A real hit has staying power. Current hits include anything that Chris Brown has sang on (including the bloated “No Air”), “Love Song” (which is actually a retort to her record company—now that song makes sense), and of course, “Low”, which is heading downward but still hasn’t gotten old. And that song’s been out since November/December.

As someone who’s always followed airplay and chart positions as a hobby, I’ve never understood how exactly they figure out a song’s ranking. Requests favor novelty songs (“The Bad Touch” “Because I Got High”) and teen and tween favorites (Backstreet Boys/Avril Lavigne/Jonas Brothers), but overall they have their small moment in the sun and wear out their welcome quickly. Bands like Matchbox Twenty and Maroon 5 do extremely well on Top 40 stations as well as ones that cater to older demographics, but you will never hear a Rob Thomas-penned tune on 9 at 9. Sales has something to do with it, but those figures are changed yearly as factors like iTunes gained traction and older forms of counting became obsolete. Every December when I make my predictions and listen to all the end-of-the-year roundups, I’m inevitably scratching my head at how one song ended up in the fifties when it clearly should be twenty points higher and how a top ten song managed to squeeze in when it clearly wasn’t that big a hit. Whatever…it at least makes the countdowns good betting material.